Sunday, 23 December 2012

Christmas Aplenty, Wallet is Empty, Time to get Boozy!

It's that time again people. The time to spend silly amounts of money on superfluous items, unwanted gifts and ridiculous amounts of food and drink. Oh, it also may be something to do with celebrating the birth of a religious icon, but that has sort of got lost over the years for most people. let's be honest, what Christmas is really about in the modern world of course is tradition and fun. All countries have different ways to mark the big day, some countries make it a big week even. Here in good ol' blighty, the shops are shut, the buses are halted (Yay!) and most people generally take is easy. Or at least try too by cooking a bird that never sees the inside of an oven all year round, mostly being used as sandwich fillers. This year for me, things are on a tight budget so many things have been pegged back. But I do like the xmas-atmos; the lights and decorations, the presents, the games, the family...it's all good. Oh, the alcohol too. Tree up this year, I thinks it's a good un'. Included below is an account of how I go about buying the missus the perfect Christmas present, in true Jason Bourne stylee! Happy Christmas bug-lovers. 

Tree regretted eating Santa's bag...


MISSION PROFILE: Code - CGI-IG14 (Covert Gift Investigations - Ideal Gift)

(The following events take place between the 09.00, 13th of December and 09.00, 25th of December...)
....TIME TO COMPLETION - 13 Days....
Agent N.Bug Mission Log: 
Home agent SAK has recently had her birthday, and as festive period operations are only permitted after this date, I am now responsible for the task of finding that exclusive special gift for Christmas. With her minding and training duties for my little 'Bugs taking her time and love up during the year, its vitally important that I source a gift which she finds special and thoughtful, this is difficult on the back of the previous birthday mission however... and time is running out quickly. Phase 1, family interviews is the first objective....
....TIME TO COMPLETION - 10 Days....
Things have got off to a slow start. Many gifts have been located for my other 'Bug family members, but the primary gift for my better half is proving hard to decide on, let alone locate. Research via her family contacts has been unhelpful and inconclusive, as any ideas I had for an entertainment gift have been thwarted by her sister. My close family contacts have already shown me their gifts to her, and thankfully nothing I wasn't expecting. I don't want to be left in a position of frog-marching her down to the West End. A gift should have that element of surprise as well as quality. I will now initiate phase 2 of my plan, to get a selection list from her without letting on....
....TIME TO COMPLETION - 5 Days....
After a rather coy and seemingly innocent interrogation, I have acquired a short list of items she would like, but in the meantime I have discovered a promising item that she is hopefully unaware off. Taking my mission budget into consideration, I have purchased the more predictable gifts of perfumes, jewellery, DVD's etc... and made sure that even these are not duplications of other people gifts. The list proved a good move, and phase 3 has now begun. I have enlisted the help of stockist AMAZON to help, and everything so far is going well. The transaction has been made, and now it's a nail-biting wait for the package to be delivered. This gift will be a surprise and certainly in her interest, albeit not all that original, but it's that little bit of thinking about it that has given me results thus far....
....TIME TO COMPLETION - 2 Days....
Nearly deadline day now, and everything is going according to plan. My AMAZON lead came through for me, and the gift has been strategically hidden at my base of operations. Presentation materials have been purchased via the outlet Clinton, which proved to eat up a considerable amount of funds. With a foil paper, ribbon bow and seasonal tag, the gift now looks the part and such should achieve the desired satisfaction to make this mission a success. I'm getting a little nervous however... an unexpected reaction is sometimes something that can occur, but if my knowledge of agent SAK is correct, and my research and preparation is also on the money, everything should work out nicely. Final phase will commence very soon... the unveiling on Christmas morning...
....TIME TO COMPLETION - 10 Hours....
It's late on the 24th, and everything is set. I have been over all the gifts including the primary one. I have worries that I have been found out though, but have deflected this with a bluff about another, fictitious gift, which on reflection would also have been a good choice. It's to late now however, phase 4 is now in action. Final checks have been made. This is a gift in her interest, which has been kept a secret and hopefully will enjoy on Christmas morning. It hasn't cost the Earth, but is something that she won't be expecting, but is also something which she would have bought herself if she became aware of it. I'm feeling confident in a positive response....
....DEADLINE - 09.00 25th December....
After the predictable but appreciated 'smaller' presents, the gift is handed over. Agent SAK has a surprised look which makes me grin, and upon opening, words of gratitude and praise are received. My mission has been a success! I'm blighted however, as agent SAK has a counter gift to me, which makes my gift look dull and thoughtless as I am over the moon at receiving the ideal gift myself. I conclude that it's better to receive than give, proving the old line incorrect, because of the self disappointment that may ensue. Although everything has gone to plan, the ideal gift again proves to be elusive, and thus makes this, Mission: Impossible.

MISSION TERMINATED

(...This blog will self-destruct in 5 seconds...maybe)



The Pixel Empire


Tons of treats in the gaming world on TPE over the last month. We have expert but pant -wettingly funny analysis of Retro City Rampage by Alan, Me and Shane face off against each other in our second Hi-Score Duel on mental-music trip Rez, and Tom looks at several rather nifty mini games from the Playstation Network. Also, each of us have our Secret Santa gifts to unwrap and review. Who got the cold turkey? Me of course!

That's just about it for my last blog before the new year, hope I have raised a smile for three. Have a tippy-toppy non-humbug Christmas all peoples far and wide, and a prosperous and peaceful New Year. See you in 2013!

2012 Out!   'Bug...Out!


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