Sunday, 4 November 2012

Paying For It The Hard Way!

So, with the Halloween celebrations over and me finally tripping up over the hill at 35 years of age, all we have to look forward too now is several nights of pyrotechnical explosions whilst keeping the pets indoors, which will unsurprisingly defecate in the most awkward of places. And whats after that for us UK folk? That's right, Christmas. Prepare to empty your bank accounts for another year or be paying off catalogue retailers until the following Christmas! At least we don't have to shell out for Thanksgiving as well I suppose, so it could be worse. You could be an American.

I jest of course, I love the yanks, it would be a much more boring world without them that's for sure. So with the season of 'goodwill' on our doorstep, does it effect the mood of regular bus passenger you say? Well, no, 70% are still as miserable as usual, but it never ceases to amaze me the amount of regular hard-working people that  totally loose the plot once they have crossed that flip-door threshold. I mean, attempting to pay the fair with a £50 note? Really? Most bars and high street shops don't even entertain 'Big Red', let alone a bus driver who is given no float. Yes, we have to provide our own, so that means if people don't pay the full fare, we have to pay it for them or get disciplined by our company. Now, contact-less credit cards have just started to become widespread, and London buses will have the ability to take them, so anybody asking if they can pay by credit card I can now forgive, but by cheque? Yes, I have been offered a cheque... I didn't even realise that were still used in this day and age! It instantly reminded me of the 'Who Framed Roger Rabbit?' scene where Eddie tries to get on a tram by showing a cheque. I said the same words as the tram conductor, with added malice. The funniest thing however, is how someone can get so flustered and panicky paying for a measly fare. If they are on the phone, it suddenly becomes impossible for the phone to be put down, and marry this with a handbag or satchel,  it's muddle-time, shaking spaghetti arms searching for that pass or even worse, loose change. I often wonder, would they do this in a supermarket, a clothes store or a fast food restaurant? No, they would not. They would be sensible about it, but a bus is like something like nothing else with a mind melting field within, and all meaningful behavioral processes go missing from the brain, returning once the person has disembarked. Ahh, the joys of public transport! People who try to fare evade of course are another matter..for another day.

If he was around today, the drivers would be the least of his worries!

It's a Blast!

Whizz! Bang! Ohhhhhh's all over! No, I'm not talking about the ideal length of a sexual encounter for a man, but for the pyrotechnic magnificence of fireworks. Come on, they are cool, and so they should be for the money that's literally burnt away. Only the proper display fireworks are the impressive stuff of course, garden fireworks bear a closer similarity to a box of swan-vestas lit up, just much shorter, below is a perfect example of this. Anyhow, I had a nice visit to the local display, paying £6 for the privilege per head. I should have just stayed in the car park, the view was better. The drawbacks with this firework month is of course many. Teens playing dumb ass japes with them, some even throwing them into crowed buses for shits sake. This is massively dangerous and not harmless tomfoolery at all. I would love to sneak a roman candle under their bed-sheets, just to see their reaction. The other annoyance of course is not wanting to hear them being blasted out of your more unruly neighbours at 2am, waking up with a jump to the apparent sound of the blitz returning is not amusing. Especially even more for parents or pet owners. Fireworks look great when done correctly, but isn't it getting to a point where selling them at retail level is just more trouble than its worth, with generally crap results and little satisfaction for the dosh it takes to buy them? Fizzle, pooff! There's a weeks wages up in smoke.

Well, that's it for this installment, don't forget to check out The Pixel Empire over the next month. We have some cracking stuff for your viewing. Shane takes a look at Darksiders while Tom and Alan battle it out on our first High-Score Challenge. For any gamer, it's too good to be missed!

'Bug... Out!

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