S - Shooting Supremos! My Top 10 Shoot 'Em Up Games

Zapp, Pow! Kersplat! Nothing beats shooting a few bad-ass aliens, monsters and nutcase flying robots now and then, and this just so happens to be one of my favourite genre's in the  video game library. With typical invasion/save the universe storylines, a massive armory of weapons and the odd's stack against you, shoot 'em up's are generally fast, loud and above all, friggin' hard! I have included all types of shooty games in this list, from scrollers to gallery to first-person, although I have never been a big fan of the latter. Here is my top 10 of shooting games!

Giant space chameleon eh? Just another day at the office 

#10 Xenon 2: Megablast - An Amiga classic, this made the headlines for it's theme tune, the club hit by dance outfit Bomb the Bass with the track 'Megablast'. The vertical scrolling shooter, Xenon 2 was great to look at, had various ways to progress and a fine 'shop' of weaponry to power up your ship to the max, making it look ridiculous in the process. Tough, but very rewarding to conquer with a host of organic inspired foes, and with that top drawer music streaming from the PAULA chip, it was a brill game to play.

#9 Tie Fighter - More of a Star Wars simulation than a shooter, I still put this keyboard hammering PC marvel in this list. You are a new recruit to the Galactic Empire, and you go through all the training and progression up the ranks with training missions and rebel attacks piloting the various Tie Fighter craft seen in the films. Engrossing and detailed, it's so fun to play a bad guy shooting down the rebel scum. Faithful to the Star Wars universe and with loads of little references, this for me was far better than it's sequel and while it may be a complex game to play, it's very gratifying for the fans ans non-fan alike.

#8 Quake - The happy memories of playing special levels Painkeep and DM4 on multiplayer, this FPS made it's mark with me. The single player missions are fine and challenging enough, but it's the rapid pace and ferocity of the multiplayer levels that really brings Quake into high regard. With wonderful textures, lighting and accuracy for it's time, it is one of the best FPS's still today for me. It's sequel was also pretty good, but didn't better this. Some manically nutty weapons too; like the chain thunderbolt gun from Painkeep, and a perfect progression to follow up to the likes of Doom and Wolfenstein.

#7 Blood Money - With a choice of craft for each level, all with different characteristics and weapons, this scrolling shooter has a extra dimension to the horizontal and vertical actions. Destroying an enemy is not enough; you have to position yourself to collect the cash that falls from them, and then use this cash for upgrades by visiting one of the shops during the level. Slower paced then most other shoot em up's, this has the brain ticking for advancement which adds a degree of strategy and has some finest music ever off an Amiga game.

Vic had a heavy approach to weeding the garden

#6 Gradius III - The Vic Viper, a classy name for a space-fighter at the best of times, the forth game in the the Gradius series with it's ten levels of alien blasting franticness. With a few stages that move away from the side-scrolling, a customisable weapons set-up for the ship and of course with nails-hard difficultly, G3 is one of the all time greats and impossible to ignore it's impact on the genre as a whole; along with R-Type (#2) paving the way for many a modern scrolling shooter.

#5 Vastar - Yup, this again, the first video game I ever played. I still say this must have inspired Halo in parts, the rocket-man you control just looks so familiar. What I really admire about this looking back is the combination of laser/shield that the player has to manage, making for a more complex game than merely shoot-all and see. While the visuals have not aged well, the on-screen enemies are still fresh and fun. Spiky Balls, flying drills, two-headed orange dragons... ahh back in the day... 

#4 Point Blank - Cartoon splat-em-up that has just got so much appeal and quirkiness, one of the very best light gun gallery games of the previous generation. Difficult but forgiving, it's bright, fun and addictive; Point Blank just puts a grin on your face with it's style and design. It's also takes the violence out of shooting a gun, which is another appealing quality. Shame it's not easy to play on today's technology in the home. Oh well.

#3 Starfox (Starwing) - The groundbreaking Super FX title for the Snes, this Star Wars-esc battle to save a galaxy from the evil telekinetic Andross has got lots of charm. It's polygon graphics may not look brilliant today, but made for an intense and intricate game at the time, and rather awe-inspiring also. The characters are memorable, the ships design is classic, the boss enemies threatening and the levels take you deep into a space war that really makes it feel imposing. The epic soundtrack matches up with this theme superbly and the whole package is a must for the Sci-fi fan in every aspect. 

#2 R-Type - I have already mentioned this as the winner of my most difficult list, so whilst it is as hard as a cubed quadratic equation, it's still got a style and presentation that does not fail to catch the eye and ear. The looming bio-organic bosses have a terror about them, the action is light-speed fast and the inclusion of the 'Force' is the difference maker. It's a weapon system that gave scope and depth to the game, as your pinpoint actions are vital to survive the onslaught. An excellent game, one of the very best space shooters.

Realistic scaling doesn't get in the way of a mean boss fight

#1 UN Squadron - Known as Area 88 in Japan, this brings together all the best factors of what makes a great scrolling shooter; a choice of pilots from difference strengths to match your skill-set, and large selection of aircraft all based off real-life machines save for one, 'super' aircraft. The arsenal of weapons is extensive, some with very specific uses for certain encounters, and the array of enemies is first class too, many based of real aircraft and vehicles. With large, seemingly impossible bosses, great environments, differing levels and choice of which stages you want to play that fits the needs of the campaign, UN Squadron for me is the shoot em' up that has it all. Oh, and did I mention the A-plus visuals, SFX and exciting soundtrack? A very fine, high-quality game, and all in the name of keeping the peace. Of course.


Fizzz... bang! Oops, looks like its game over for this list of my top 10 shoot 'em up's, but have no fear as we get re-spawn tomorrow with another entry to the a to z challenge. T is for tie-in's, and it's my second 5 up and 5 down list, some of the very best and very worst video games based off films. It doesn't take a genius to work out that one of the worst is a game, based off a film, which is based off a game in the first place! Why did they bother!

Bug...'Out!

J - Jokes & Japery! My Top 10 Comical Games

We all like to have a good laugh now and then, so it stands to reason that  having the odd giggle at a video game is no exception. They may not be designed to be intentionally funny, or maybe the humour just happens by accident, but one things for sure it does brighten a game up with a bit of throwaway slapstick, a near-the-knuckle reference or a clever quip. These are my top 10 of games that have made me smile, or at times laugh like a drain. Most of these games are actually not brilliant, or highly praised, but they do have an element of comic genius that is hard not to at least raise a slight grin. Without further ado, Let's go!

The queue for the Demon barbers was always hell

#10 Lemmings - A game that many have played and been engrossed by, the puzzle/platform jaunt of rescuing chronically depressed rodents is amusing enough. Add to this the variety of comic and fantasy settings, death traps, the ability to make them explode and the look of the little blighters themselves; blue jumpsuits with a shocking mop of bright green hair. Crazy, barmy and funny, especially when you get bored and deliberately set them up to die en-mass, just for some twisted thrill. Oh no!

#9 The Simpson's Road Rage - Let's be honest here, most licensed Simpsons game are pretty poor, Bart's Nightmare and The Simpsons Wrestling to name but two examples. However, Road Rage was a little bit better, was actually playable and, like the show in it's early days, funny. With some excellent comical show-references for the fans, authentic voicing and some mad sequences and objectives, this was the best Simpsons title since the original arcade game. Not a brilliant game, but full of trademark Groaning humour.

#8 How to Be a Complete Bastard - Based off a book written by Ade Edmondson, which he in turn based the primary 'Bastard' character off the role of Vyvyan from his hit comedy show The Young Ones, this is a really shit game. Literally in some cases. Hollow and simplistic gamplay, rubbish graphics and poor SFX, the one redeeming feature it had was it's totally bad taste brand of comedy. Whether it be farting to clear a room, poisoning the party guests with laxative or putting cling film on the toilet, it was full of black humour and fecal based slapstick acts. It did make me laugh a lot whilst suffering the torturous task of trying to play the game, so can be remembered for that at least.

#7 Leisure Suit Larry - Ha, the soft-porn movie of video games if you will. You get to play as Larry Laffer, the coarse, chauvinistic, jerky middle aged man with the sole purpose to find some good sinful times with women way above his station. His seduction methods usually end with joyful failure. Including adult dialogue full of sexual references, depiction and suggestion of saucy deeds and some coarse language, the humour content and subject matter of the game became infamous. Seedy rib-tickling at it's finest.

Not caring about the warping tunnel,
Dirk just realised He'd left the iron on

#6 Dragon's Lair - A unique game upon conception, this was basically a medieval fantasy cartoon that you controlled, later morphing into a platform title, but still containing the signature style of eccentric humour and sexual suggestions. The main source of fun comes from our hero, Dirk the Daring. He has an odd look for a knight on a quest to save his outrageously voluptuous princess. With a skinny build, clumsy stance and fighting style, manic over-the-top reactions to monsters and dangers, he's the Mr Bean of brave sword wielding knights. Lots of silly death instances too. Hi-Lair-ious!

#5 Worms - A classic Playstation war strategy game; the very idea of worms fighting to the death with a vast stock of heavy weaponry is funny to begin with, but there are so many tiny morsels of laughter contained. The pre-game cut scenes are great, the weapons are devastatingly amusing as are the sneaky references to other titles, such as a dragon punch from Street Fighter 2, and the cleverly comical but minuscule animation routines of the worms themselves. It's also excellent to play as a party game too. Kamikaze!

#4 Portal - Featuring the most unstable and surreal sentient computer since HAL, the combination of a dark-humored plot, the sometimes amusing consequences of using the portal gun and of course, the mish-mash of false compliments, mind-games and puerile insults chucked in your direction by our nemesis GlaDOS makes an intelligently witty game. Sinister, but side-splitting, and finished off by a fittingly warped but fun sing-song.

#3 Earthworm Jim - A robotic super-suit plus an average earthworm equals the craziest superhero ever, with some of the finest comedic grace ever to roam the 16-bit platforms. With the ability to use himself as a whip, shoot the maddest and baddest laser weapons and fight the likes of (get this!) Bob the Killer Goldfish and Professor Monkey-for-a-Head, this is a cracking can of worms to open and gorge gleefully on the laughs. I actually found this genuinely hilarious, and a pretty snazzy game as well.

#2 Point Blank 1, 2 & 3 - This threesome of gallery shooting games has the timid and tame comedy brand  inspired by The Muppets and similar material, but I always find myself smiling from ear to ear with the excellent cartoon design, wildly exaggerated characters and the shrieks and shouts of your hosts Dr Dan and Dr Don. This fun element takes away the serious gun shooting nature of the game and makes it a friendly and approachable series for the youngest of gamers. Some really marvellous highlights too, like the doc getting shot in the head or running manically from the cannibals flaming torches. 

Conker politely addressed the Houses of Parliament

#1 Conker's Bad Fur Day - Crammed full of eyebrow-raising bent humour, sarcasm, surrealism, slapstick and plagiarisms, the titular heavy drinking foul-mouthed money-grabbing squirrel is about to have a day from hell, and it's F**king funny! Some of the stuff included in this N64 cult classic are very near the mark, like the Tediz fundamentalists and the antagonists' name, Professor Von Kriplespac. Oh, and did I forget? A giant opera-singing turd as a boss character! However, even with all the coarseness and vulgarity you still find yourself warming to the little pissed-up nut collector, especially at the end. Not surprising that the remake felt the slice of the editors knife. Killjoys!

Phew, that was fun, some good memories writing that. So much so, I may be off to replay one of these titles imminently. Apologies for some of the bad language in this list, but hey, you've read it now so it's too late. Hope it at least made you smirk a little, and hopefully instantly search YouTube to find out if my number 1 pick really is as rude as I say it is. Tomorrow I bring you  the joys of death, sorrow and dismay with my top 10 deaths in video games. But it's the letter K you say? Well duh, K is for Killed!

Bug... 'Out!

A - Arcade Attack! My Top 10 Arcade Games (Coin-Op's)

Right, first up in my A to Z of video game top 10's are the devilish machines that got me into gaming in the first place. Arcade cabinets: AKA Coin-Op's.  For some, the dwellings of said contraptions were a haven of adventure and escapism, endeavoring to reach for the stars and be acclaimed by your peers. For others, a soulless room of money stealing traitorous boxes that break your heart and taunt you with an irresistible continue countdown screen. Personally, I loved the arcade era. I was glad and willing, but maybe not able, to part with my school lunch money just so I could see Death Adder's blood spurt, or attempt the famous 'Handcuffs Glitch' in Street Fighter 2. As you can imagine, I played many of these games back in the day, so here is my top 10 of personal champions  These may not be the titles you expect, it is not a list of the so-called 'Best' games, just the ones that got me to part with the most amount of money, or kept me coming back again and again. And again.

But Mum, the invaders eat my sprouts... honest!

#10 Space Invaders - The original arcade sensation. The colour screen table top version we had when my folks ran a Pub (Yes, pubs had arcade machines!). I have many fond memories of this, but strangely not the first arcade I played. Remember, shoot the last git of an invader before he is in your sights!

#9 Datona USA - Early teens, local cinema and we were there, racing frantically in the four player simulator version until dark. It was the first racer I played that felt real, with the vibrations, gear stick, visual damage, pedals and steering wheel. Great and so new for the time.

Times were hard for Donkey's 
Dragon wife before Shrek

#8 Black Tiger - I remember getting embroiled in a freak game of one upmanship with a fellow school pupil; he was just awesome at this fantasy platformer, so I just had to try and better him. Ultimately, I failed but the game stuck with me. Shame most of the home conversions were pants, the ones missing from the games' protagonist I presume.

#7 Kung Fu Master - Ah yes, the very first arcade game I played as a wee boy. I was hooked by this, even though it took me months to work out how to beat the level four boss, but I loved it. I remember searching high and low for the CPC version, which was pretty good as it happens. It even inspired me in later life to learn martial arts. Novabug - 2nd Degree Blackbelt. (I thank you!)

#6 Jailbreak - One single sound effect is the reason why this low-grade police shoot 'em up makes the list. In fairground arcade stalls up and down the country, Jailbreak was always there, the grating echos of a hostage boy's scream calling out to you in the demo rum. You had to save him, the little shit!

#5 Golden Axe - Everybody I knew at the time loved this, SEGA's fantasy slasher normally accompanied with the usual argument of who the best character was; the dwarf or the barbarian. In truth, the amazon was excellent because she had the best magic, but no pre-pubescent boy would admit to this in the pressured testosterone atmosphere of the arcade. It was also a bit of a watershed moment with the spectacularly grim death of the games antagonist.

#4 Chase HQ - Few games make you want to be a policeman, but this hit the mark with aplomb. Chase the criminal at crazy speeds in a Porsche, and run him off the road! What is there not it like? It was fast too, very fast. And if you failed? A women called Nancy on the radio mocked you openly! Shocking.

#3 Time Crisis - If early light gun FPS's had a James Bond style hero, then Richard Miller was it. The Namco G-Con45 was such a brilliant gun controller, bulk and presence and made you feel menacing. Many pound coins were spent on the continue screen with this one. A polygon frenzy of Blam Blams!

#2 Street Fighter 2 - Well, it had to be in this list didn't it? Most best-game charts have it, so this list will be no exception. One of the biggest and most popular games ever, I did not miss the boat during it's arcade heyday. This game made me late for school numerous times, miss the bus home, get into real fights... you name it. It should be at the top of the list you think, but....

#1 Point Blank - On the outside, you may think I am insane for choosing this. A light gun gallery shooter, with cartoon slapstick graphics and with two hosts that look like they are on day release from the Sesame Street asylum. Point Blank and it's sequel scoffed up more of my beer money in my student days then any other machine. While my buds were crying into there empty wallets at the foot of a fruit machine, I was smiling and dancing with joy at completing Point Blank yet again, with a crowd of admiring peers standing around me. It gave be so much fun and pleasure, it is my all time number one arcade game.

Well there you have it. Feel free to add your opinions and your suggestions for your top coin-ops. Double Dragon, Final Fight and Hippodrome were all close to making the list as these were also great games for me. Hope you enjoyed my arcade adventure, next up.... my top ten Beat' em Up's! Funnily enough, some of these classics may be included...

Finally, A big thanks to Arlee Bird for starting this challenge, a great idea and hopefully helpful to all that have accepted. Find him at http://tossingitout.blogspot.co.uk/


Bug...'Out!